Nesting: My second-rate love. My value-menu love. My you-were-there-and-I'm-too-scared-to-look-elsewhere love.

from Purity Route by moon II

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lyrics

To drive home together at 7 p.m., and play songs I love but you cannot stand?
To pick out new furniture for the old den?
To say “I’ll put you back together again?”

I thought that love would be bigger than that…
As big as forever—as strong as a ring.
But now love seems so small, like the size of a ring
Caught between cushions, and dropped down the sink.

I’m building a nest, though there’s nobody in it.
I’m carving out space in myself to be filled.
And I made a place for you!
I filled it with my favorite things; kept it warm and comforting…

I was with you when you talked about when
Four sisters and you shared one room and one bed
Head to toe toe to head just like fish in a can
And the tone of your voice made it sound like back then you were happy?

Now all our pretty forevers are gone,
And with them our dreams of some unending youth
Where we gobble up time in a pyrrhic pursuit
To make what was once new still feel new to us… wasn’t that selfish?

Yet couldn’t we make something out of ourselves?
Couldn’t our dreams find new life somewhere else?
But “it just wouldn’t work,” or “it’s not the right time;”
With our loves unrequited, we warp, and we warp…

credits

from Purity Route, released February 21, 2019

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